Youth Ministry: The Armchair Profession

We are all familiar with the term "armchair quarterback". On Saturdays and Sundays we sit in our chairs with popcorn in our laps and drinks by our side criticizing every move the quarterback of our team makes.

"No! What did you throw to the tight end for? Your slot was open 15 yards down field?"

"Way to go, that intentional grounding was just what we needed to make sure the other team has good field position."

or one that I am familiar with this season...

"Crompton!!!! You're supposed to throw the ball at the ORANGE jerseys!!!!"

Let's face it, we are really good at criticizing others: quarterbacks, coaches, politicians, actors, war generals, parents, the list goes on for miles.

But when it gets down to it, we can criticize the quarterbacks all we want, but they are the ones out on the field. If I was a quarterback hearing criticism towards me from a fan, my number one response would most likely be, "Well, would you like to try scanning the field, analyzing the coverage, and hitting the receiver of choice all while a 325 LB. beast is charging towards you (something we don't have when we are screaming at our so called incompetent quarterbacks).

There's something to be said about one who is in the trenches struggling, verses one who is not doing a thing while criticizing.

Take my job for example (for the record, I'm not asking for a pity party. I just have a need to express what is on my heart). Everybody seems to think they can do it. My response: So come help!

One of the most popular questions I am asked is, "What do you do all day?" Thus, every time I'm seen on facebook (facebook tells you if you are currently logged in, a teen messages me and says "So this is what you do all day!" I often have people insinuating that I don't do much at all. About 4 hours before VBS began, I was told "I'm glad it's VBS week. It must be tough for you though, Chris. This is one of the 4 weeks in the year you have to work."

Understand, both of the above examples were said to me in joking manners, and weren't meant to be hurtful. I'm close friends with the people that joked that I only work 4 weeks a year and the teen I talked to on facebook is a very active and loyal part of our youth group (by the way...should I have asked what she was doing on facebook while at school?). I know both of those examples were said to me in playful, harmless manners, but I think (fear?) that that stereotype for youth ministers is all too common.

But let's go to a not so joking comment. How about another question that is quite common for me to hear: "So, like, what are your office hours?"

This is a very unique question to answer. I'm not really required to serve a set amount of time in my office. I do spend a lot of time in it, preparing lessons, making phone calls, organizing events, etc. But I also spend a lot of time making visits (sometimes as late as 10:00 at night) and running errands (if I need to get something for an illustration in class). Nonetheless, I need to answer this question as briefly as possible.

My usual response is, "While I'm not required to spend a set amount of time in my office, on average I'm there from about 9:00 - 3:30, maybe 4."

And now we're off.

"NINE O'CLOCK TO THREE THIRTY! Can I apply? Is there an opening? Man that must be nice!"

Of course, I didn't mention that sometimes I'm in the office for a lot longer, slammed with extra duties. I didn't mention the visits. I didn't mention the misc confrontations I need to make if I need to "straighten a kid out". I didn't mention that I'm on call if a teen is rushed to the emergency room at 4:00 a.m. (yes, that has happened).

I could mention it, but no. I don't want to ruin their rant of envy (if that's even what it is). So I continue to listen.

"Wow, how cool it would be to have a job where you are only in the office for 5 hours and then you get to go play video games with teenagers. Man your job must be so easy."

OK, now I think we need to stop here. Do I play video games with teens? Yes. Am I only in the office for 5 hours. On some days, yes. But let's look at a fact and compare it to a common misconception.


Fact - The average youth minister tenure at a church is 18 months.


OK, so if being a Youth Minister is so easy, then why does the average youth minister only last 18 months? Is it because he is bored? Guess again. Is it because he needs to make more money? OK, well that might be part of it. But maybe, just maybe it isn't that easy. Maybe it goes a lot deeper than what most people see on the surface.

I'm trying hard. I've made a ton of mistakes since I've been here. I imagine that plenty more will follow. But to all of those armchair youth ministers who let me know when they disagree with my discipline strategy, or whatever other mistake, come join me in the trenches! It's harder than it looks.

It's almost ironic. People whisper among each other, "I could be a better minister than this person". But aren't we all ministers? You are a minister. I am a minister. Ministry is not about me. I'm not doing this so that people will look at me and say, "Wow, that person is cool." I want others to see Jesus, not me. Take me out of the picture, I won't mind. It's what John the Baptist did. He came and simply pointed men towards Christ.

Ministry is messy. It can be an absolute island sometimes. I'd love to expand on details on the political problems that occur when ministering to close to 40 different teenagers and parents, but this isn't the place, nor is it really important. Just believe me. It's tough.